When your casual denials turn monumental And your manners of depression are all that pull you through And your righteousness is so presidental You’re a self-made martyr through and through When all the saints refuse your collect phone calls And return all your christmas cards And everyone accuses you of building brick walls You’re a self-made martyr standing guard When your memories all run together like water color And illusions become your daily bread And you question happiness like a jealous lover You’re a self-made martyr still in bed When your night times are always waiting for the sunrise And your mornings are black as coffee And the telephone only rings with surprise You’re a self-made martyr seriously When your indignation chokes you like a halter And recognition saunters right on by And no one genuflects at your altar You’re a self-made martyr wondering why Why all of your pretentions cry for recognition And you’re dying for a crumb of sympathy And your boasts are just an act of contrition You’re a self-made martyr like me