A History of Sleepwalking

So this is what you’ve been doing / Up late at night staring at the screen / I’d been hoping that we’d stay pure / But I’m feeling too damn insecure / ‘Cause my skin isn’t porcelain / It’s dotted through with pores and scars / I can’t compare to all the porn stars / With their silicone breasts and air-brushed thighs / So I’ll pretend my lust is never satisfied / I’ll look over your shoulder to see what you like / And pretend to enjoy it so someday I might / You claim you’d always hoped that I would turn this wild / But I’m just holding on to the dreams of a child / Maybe you’ll think I’m pretty / And feel lucky that you have me / If I learn to love you the way she does / ‘Cause with her all-loving eyes / She will never have to cry / So I’m gonna try to forget what I was / So I can love you the way that she does / I’ll wake up before you and get my face done / So that you can forget that I’m a real person / I’ll practice my seductive look in the mirror / So maybe you’ll draw just a little bit nearer / I’ll be your doll as I stare at the wall / And make believe your affection satisfies / But I can’t keep buying into your lies / This smells like love but doesn’t last / I’m just an actress who’s been cast / In this lust show you just won’t give up / But I never will be quite good enough / To make you forget your erotic queen / Who’s never more than what she seems / I come to you to tell the truth of what made all this come to be / You apologize with hardened eyes and the guilt weighs just on me.